I got married a few days ago and so naturally my husband and I have been having sex a LOT. (It’s pretty exciting since we were both virgins before the wedding 
The first time we did it, it was really hard for him to get in and when he finally did, it hurt moderately for awhile but the pain gradually lessened. We’ve done it quite a bit since, but that first penetration still hurts. Strange thing is, I still enjoy sex a lot, and I WANT it all the time! Could I have hit an orgasm without realizing it? Is that even possible? I’ve always figured that you’ll just KNOW when you have one, so I’m kind of confused. What does an orgasm feel like? What can my husband do to get me there? Also, are male orgasms ALWAYS accompanied by ejaculation? My husband has been having a problem with this…we’re thinking maybe it’s because his body isn’t used to using up this much semen and needing it all the time. Is this common? Will it correct itself in time?
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April 13th, 2010 at 9:04 am
First congrats on your marriage and waiting until then to had sex. I find that admirable. Second, it sometimes hurts when a guy first penetrates, however, with more foreplay this is less likely. Make sure he spends time pleasuring you in other ways first and you will be less likely to hurt. Male orgasms are not always accompanied by ejaculation (just most of the time). As far as you orgasming, orgasms are different for everyone and usually are harder to achieve for women than for men.
April 13th, 2010 at 9:04 am
It will hurt for a while until your body gets used to having sex, you probably didn’t have an orgasm just yet but that doesn’t mean that you didn’t enjoy it alot. As for him, yes it should be followed by one. But you two are still new to it and it will come once you are used to sex. Good luck.
April 13th, 2010 at 9:04 am
I’m not an expert on the matter, but you WILL know when you have an orgasm. So, you probably haven’t had one.
April 13th, 2010 at 9:04 am
I don’t know the answer to your question, but I’ve heard that sex gets better with time.
Congratulations on your marriage! I also want to wait until marriage to lose my virginity. I think it’s sooo special that you waited for each other, regardless of what anyone else has to say! I
April 13th, 2010 at 9:04 am
Sex hurts? How unsettling! And much more common than you might imagine. Doctors have a name for this; we call it dyspareunia (pronounced dis-pah-ROO-ne-ah). Most women have gone through a stage in which intercourse is painful; in up to a third of women, this has lasted a long time. 1 There are many reasons why having sex can hurt.
Before we look at some of the more common reasons, I’d like to say a word about communication. Sometimes sex is hard to talk about. I’ m very glad you asked your question here. Dyspareunia can be solved, one way or another, for people who are willing to ask about it.
One of the key things to learn during your current difficulties is that it’s important to talk with your partner about what is going on. Tell your boyfriend why you like him and what feels good when you are together. But also tell him when something hurts. Learning to work together is an important part of sex.
What might be causing the pain depends on whether sex has always hurt or if this is a recent development; whether it hurts every time or only sometimes; and (perhaps most importantly) whether you feel the greatest pain when the penis first enters or once it is in deeply.
If you hurt as the penis first enters, the most common problem is not enough lubrication. Friction in this sensitive area can hurt! Your organs normally get wet and slippery as part of sexual arousal. Taking more time for sexual play before intercourse is often all that is needed to turn a painful experience into a pleasant one. Too fast is usually too dry.
Fear, too, can decrease lubrication. Fear of infection, fear of pregnancy, and fear about the relationship are all common. Abuse or incest can leave you dry until the real hurt is healed.
A water-based lubricant (do not use lotion, baby oil, or Vaseline) you pick up at the drugstore can work wonders, but don’t ignore the reason for decreased lubrication, if you know what it is.
Pain on insertion might also come from inflamed external genitals. The tissue might be inflamed from a yeast infection, warts, herpes, or some other infection. Sometimes the area is tender from a benign cyst called a Bartholin’s gland cyst. All of these conditions require medical treatment.
Intercourse can also remain painful as long as the hymen is partly intact. If you can insert a tampon comfortably, a mechanical obstruction is not likely.
Pain with deep penetration usually comes from the deeper organs being tender. This includes the ovaries, uterus, bladder, and even the intestines. At your age, the most common reasons for deep pain are ovarian cysts, a retroverted uterus (positioned so it gets bumped during intercourse), abdominal adhesions (in people who have had abdominal surgery), and an infection called pelvic inflammatory disease. Many other, less common conditions (such as inflammatory bowel disease) can also make you hurt. In some positions (such as lying on the side), penetration is not as deep, and sex might be more comfortable.
But if the hurting doesn’t improve quickly, you’ll also need to talk to your doctor about the pain. Be sure to tell them whether the pain has always been there or is new. Describe what hurts most and when. Work together to identify the cause. Don’ t stop asking about this until you understand why sex hurts and until you’ve gotten relief from the pain. Having sex shouldn’t have to hurt.
April 13th, 2010 at 9:04 am
A lubricant may help you. Ask your husband to buy a bottle of Astroglide and apply a little each time you have sex.
How can your husband help with your orgasm? You two will need to experiment and communicate to figure this out. Let him know what works, what feels good, and what to try. You’ll figure it out eventually!
Always ejaculation? The answer is "yes" for me, but if you two are having a lot of sex, the volume may be quite small. Don’t worry about it.
You’ll slow down soon!
April 13th, 2010 at 9:04 am
Congrats on waiting till you’re married!!! Sorry I don’t know the answer to your question cuz i’m waiting too! High five! =]
April 13th, 2010 at 9:04 am
for me the first few times hurt a bit too, so im guessing it is normal for it to hurt. you’d no if u had an orgasm so u probaly didnt have 1. to no u’d have a wet sticky substance cuming out.
April 13th, 2010 at 9:04 am
I’m surprised that you are old enough to marry yet you have never masturbated to orgasm. Try pleasuring yourself. When you reach a climax you will definitely know!