I know women can have multiple orgasms and men can’t, but here I’m comparing a single female orgasm to a single male orgasm.

This is a personal question. If you are offended easily then please don’t read. It contains information about sexual things/masturbation. I’ll try to make this all as detailed as possible.

I’m a 23 year old female, who has seemingly lost her sex drive. It has happened kind of gradually over a year. It’s really strange for me because it used to be extremely high. Mine used to easily surpass a man’s sex drive. The only thing I could think about was sex from the time I was about 11 (yes, early bloomer) to about 21. It was really 24/7, I couldn’t even pay attention in school: A guy’s hand on my waist, a soft kiss, or even holding hands would drive me absolutely insane. I used to be a Catholic and had it set in my mind that I needed to be a virgin until I was married. I couldn’t have my first orgasm from masturbation until I was 21 because I didn’t know how to get myself off or was holding myself back because I felt guilty due to my religion. This was right after the time when my religious beliefs began to change. My change in mindset and beliefs definitely helped me have my first orgasm. I’m still a virgin, but I can accept that I might have sex before marriage if I find a guy I love. I started masturbating a lot, sometimes three times a day trying to get "relief" from my constant horniess. It didn’t work. The problem was I was brainwashed that orgasms are this *mind-blowing* experience every time. I understand now that it doesn’t work that way, but it got me disappointed and I thought something was wrong with me. It’s been just over a year now since I’ve had my first orgasm, but I no longer crave sex at all. It makes sense that orgasms decrease your sex drive, however I went on a few breaks that lasted about a month without any masturbation at all and the only time my libido came back slightly was during ovulation. I miss having it all the time. It takes me around three hours to orgasm recently (my average is probably around 1.5 hours) by masturbation because I can’t get turned on enough or easily enough. Now that I’m dating someone I have feelings for and I actually trust completely, my sex drive is gone. I don’t want to lose my virginity if I can’t really get aroused anymore.

I just can’t accept that it’s not how it used to be. I’m starting to blame myself for losing out on the times I could have been intimate with my boyfriends in high school. I feel like my lost libido is all my fault. It probably is. Maybe if I had been intimate when I wanted to I wouldn’t have lost my sex drive so early. I wonder if my body just shut off because I denied it for so long. I mean, I dated someone for nearly five years and we hardly did anything sexual because of our (mostly my) beliefs.

I tried eating some foods that can increase libido such as bananas. I’ve tried exercising a lot more and drinking more water. I am taking multivitamins and eat decently healthy. There have been no medications since my decrease in libido, no illnesses, the same amount of stress as I always had (in fact, when I was stressed it would usually increase). Could it be a temporary change in hormones? I know a woman’s hormones change around when we are in our early to mid twenties. Did I mess up my love life by denying my needs when I was younger? What can I do to help it go back to how it was? Any suggestions? Could my body just be "leveling out" meaning that all the intense teenage hormones are gone now? I don’t want to accept that. All my dreams of having sex with someone I love multiple times every day, being a man’s sexual dream, and being a passionate lover have just flown out the window. It might sound silly, but this issue is starting to make me very depressed.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I really appreciate it. I apologize that this is so long and kind of personal. I hope I get some answers that can help me.